＊珍の天空＊

Went cycling with my sis on tuesday.
More like i'm teaching my sister though, taking only one bike.
She quite a good learner, probably because she attempted on it once before.
she kinda reminds me of myself few years back after my Os.
Was taught by someone who was supposed to be kinda special to me.

Anyway, it was kinda weird that it's so tiring for me even though i didn't cycle much. Although my sister ended up injured, she kinda learn to cycle better le..haha


It was shopping after that though, crazy shopping!
bought a really kawaii pullover from FOX, it's mickey and minnie!

Went to the Christmas DIY (declared in you) camp as helper-participant 2 days after that.
Was kinda interested and i was stationed at this Woodlands Vista Park for a mass activity.
The park is awesome - themed Alice in the Wonderland, kinda reminds me of the manga (Pandora Hearts) that a friend recommended.
the camp isn't like the usual ones that i would go, you know, it's much Christian than others..
here's some photos of the really cool park...

Went out with Michelle for bible study in the afternoon
Asked her about the camp that i will be facilitating soon
the last time i faci a camp was the SMU FTB run 4, which i hardly regard as real one since i do more sai gang than faci-ing..haha
hope i will enjoy this camp.

Met up with daddy to accompany him see new phone.
But poor daddy, his favourite motorola isn't manufacturing le.
He have to settle for a second best.
But i managed to persuade him to think twice, so didn't buy.
It's quite a long time since i spend real time with daddy.
Been feeling bad that i couldnt spend time with him during school time.

Have i mentioned before?
There was actually this senior who laughed me for being a daddy girl.
Haha, actually i never thought myself as one.
But after he mentioned, i realise i actually enjoyed being a daddy girl.
I could hardly imagine that i will in future have an other closer family other than my daddy, mummy and 3 sisters..

but who knows, maybe i will just continue living with just daddy and mummy all the way. ^.^


signing off,
daddy girl jane~

after the last paper on last wednesday, i had been relaxing myself: slacking, facebooking, watching dramas...
Not a lot of sleeping though, haha.

Recently Vampire Knight updated again.
Really like it a lot.
Have you watched the anime before?
the manga is even better.
I wonder how it will end...



anyway it's a boring weekend for me.
supposed to learn skating with Jasmine on saturday, but that poor girl injured her feet before that.
today supposed to go kittylab @ expo with KK, but she had work last minute. sighs

Currently i'm hooked on 學警狙擊 that hongkong drama 'cause 學警出更 is on air on channel u.
some might know i'm always interested in the profession of police.
So of course this series of show are of real interest to me. haha.

the next few days will be more interesting to me i guess, gathering time~

been thinking of some stuff recently..
what makes waiting worth?
how do u tell if ur waiting for something is just that you can't bear to waste all the time u have been waiting, or is it that it's not even a choice whether one should wait or not.
how do you make urself stop waiting?

another thing...
have you experience times when u keep thinking of the past?
i know the past is of no meaning to ponder about..
but sometimes some past is harder to forget than others.
what should i do?

the weird thing is, i start having lots of nightmares.
those ridiculous nightmares that i only used to get when i was much younger.
especially today's one is even scarier..
how to get rid of it?! grrrr..

Anyway, i'm thinking of switching this blog to multiply.com or myspace.com, should i ?
Main reason is that i think it's easier for me to share my own photos on multiply and myspace than livejournal..
Should i Should i? give me some opinions~

signing off~
Vampiric ME!

i know i always regard myself as white tiger or vampire.

it used to be all about white tiger for me..

but recently, i'm so interested in vampiric talk.

college friends are linking me to vampire..and some other friends too..

now, even the choice for manga reading, etc is all about vampires

but what was the main reason linking me attracted to everything about vampires?

was it the same reason why i watched Twilight?



or was it the same reason why my msn display picture came about?




the two are different reasons.

i guess, i'm the only one understand what i'm talking about.

but it's a dilemma for me in deciding which reason is of more meaning to me..

seems like any other countries, Singapore's winter is early!

(by this winter, it simply means random rain and super cold)

I have finally finish the pile of assignments that are due this week.

Only left with one more term paper and 3 exams.

But i'm all relax for now.

I have been sleeping a lot today.

Can you believe that just yesterday, i was feeling faintly due to lack of sleep? haha

It feels like i'm all-ready to hibernate today.

Anyway, i finished watching this movie called " My Sister's Keeper".
(A movie obtained from the novel by Jodi Picoult)



It's really nice.
And if you are humane enough, it'll move you to tears.
this story started with a evil younger engineered sister Anna requesting for medical emancipation because she no longer want to donate any more things to her cancer-sicken sister Kate.
Anna said she wanted to play soccer, be a cheerleader, and not living her life "carefully" just because she HAVE TO donate her kidney.
Evil, isn't she?
But was that the truth?
Was those reason really sufficient for Anna to kill her sister indirectly?
That was the touching part of the story.

Well, what's a movie without cute guys? Haha.
Taylor by Thomas Dekker acted in the movie as Kate's Boyfriend when they met in hospital both as leukemia patients, introducing themselves in an unique way - the kinda medicine they use to treat their cancer.
Thomas Dekker isn't as cute as the movie Taylor, simply because Taylor was bald - skinhead totally.
But the skinhead Thomas Dekker was made to be a really sweet boy in the movie!

All in all, if you got a chance, watch it. It's awesome.

It's now 11/11 11:11am.

what a meaningful thing to me.

有人說，看到時間是1111時，就代表有人在想你。

我卻是相反的。

每當我看見1111時，就會像起莫人。

so to me, seeing 1111hrs on 11/11 is so meaningful ^.^

寂寞光年-刘力扬

I had enough, seriously.

stop targeting my accent when i argue
Fine, it might be nurtured during JC times.
But that doesn't mean "oh yea yea, you ARE the JC one"
Stop doing the damned stupid linkage because the two incidents happened together.
It's NOT my problem that i'm THE ONLY ONE studying in JC here ok?
It's NOT even that i claimed JC ppl are cleverer, ok?
You are the one DEVALUING poly ppl, NOT ME!

AND STOP targeting rude or not.
because i'm the youngest, doesn't mean i have to silently take in everything.
YOU and others, always try to end the argument with "at least i'm not aas rude as you are to me"
FINE! I'm the youngest, so? that doesn't mean i have to take all the accusation.
Like the rude thing is all gone when you fight back to our parents just because they won't exclaim you are rude to them.
What? trying to take your status as a big deal?
wisdom and age doesn't grow proportional together

有人說：“在墜進愛河前，要先看看河有多深”

如果一不小心墜進太深的，就會……

可是要怎麽從那河裏把自己拯救出來呢？

是否曾覺得命運很可笑？

在某個人生階段，你可能遇到對的人。

心已掏了出來，卻發現是錯的時候……

後悔是無用的。

只能往前走。

終于到了你認爲是對的時候了。

心一再地掏了出來， 卻發現好像是錯的人……

放棄似乎是正確的選擇。

但如果沒法子就這樣往下走呢？

woke up really early today ( well, it's the same timing during JC, but certainly not now)

took a cab down to Singapore Flyer. Haha, the driver is really funny "Wah, you also going to run the 10 kg ar?"

first time going to a run alone, cause i didn't manage to register for myself, replacing my sis only.

the nike run route is much less shitty than the recent shape run.

but it's crazy, can u imagine the first runner came in 30 mins later?!

i ran almost one hour more than him/her.

but i'm proud of myself.

cause i still jogged home after that.

those nike runners that i past by was like wth...LOL

so tired......

2 more sets of antibiotics and I'll temporarily free from medication!

I'm recovering well except for lil bit of flu.

but i'm fighting now!



so much work to do, this morning stayed up till 4am. shagged~

had a nightmare somemore..

lesson on later. need to rush out one outline for my research paper.

got a bad feeling that i will kanna to be the 1st group of people presenting today.

 

tmr 10 having meeting, 12 lesson, 3.30 workshop.

no break time, so i think i will get really hungry tmr.. >.<

have to keep on fighting!!!

it's already half a semester le!!

Jia you!!
 

i've been missing so many LTB meetings recently, cause of health and cause of granny's wake.

felt really bad for them who are so kind to me.

i hate being the weak one here, but my damned health doesn't allow me to be strong.

i dont know how to take care of myself, someone told me recently.

really, i don't know.

i don't know what addition things i need to do to be "taking care" of myself.

to me, i just eat, sleep, work, play like everyone else do.

but i fall sick, get injured more than anyone else.

what did i lack in doing?

wish i really understand what is meant by "taking care of myself' that i'm not doing,

i don't want to be the weak one, it's too "girly" for Jane.

i dont want people to be kind to me because i'm sick, or weaker though i do appreciate their kindness.

it's like i'm the one receiving and not giving,, i dont like it.

so much work to do, but i fall sick

it's like so sudden.

just 10 plus last night, i felt my throat burning and painful.

1 am i went to sleep, but i couldn't sleep at all because of my runny nose and my sis on-ing the light to do her work.

and i practically stayed up with her till 6 plus?

then i get headache...

stupid throat infection is making me hard to swallow and speak..

haix damn sian, always fall sick during holiday...

HAIX! WHAT'S RECESS WEEK?

sighx, it's just a to-clear-the-mountainous-of-schoolwork week.

monday 10am-12am (exclude night time gathering cum celebration)

tuesday 8.30am-12am of schoolwork stuff

today? 11am till now, i'm doing my school work in school.

yawns... it's so boring to mug in school alone...

thanks to wenhaw, i was a eavesdropper for more than an hour.

and big thanks to my senior CW to help me in my stupid AS work.

but there's still a lot of work to do...tired..yawn!

another dream of him today, what's wrong with me?

Ok, i know my previous post is emo.

it's getting better now though i dreamed of him again..

i don't really mind the dreams you know, but it's making it harder to forget.

it's nearly 2 years, i'm so naive.


Sunday, i finally tried skypeing with Wenhaw, it's so cool.

What's more, it's practically free (unless u count the internet fees that my dad is paying) to video call all the way to Australia.

ANYWAY, it's my recess week now.

but guess what?

the 1st day of my recess week -Monday, i was totally packed in my schedules


I had "Analytical Skills" midterm on Monday at 10am, meeting at 4pm, gathering near Bugis at 6.30pm, LTB meeting at 9.30pm

It's SO PACKED!!! I reached home at 12!!!

then this morning i woke up at 6.30 am for a workshop, meeting at 12..now a free time to do a random blogging, later still having another meeting

Tmr is another meeting and i need to prepare for it today!

SO PACKED!!! WHERE IS MY RECESS!!!



Oops, did i just made my blog grumpy instead of emo?

haha, but weird, i'm not really irritated by it, more like used to the busy feeling..

at least when u are busy, u tend to think about random troubles less =)

though i haven't really get to enjoy my "recess" week, it's ok.

for now, i'm temporarily back to a cheerful janey!~

I had my "understanding societies" midterm today, and i screwed it.

can't remember the exact five basic features of a bureaucracy, and with my goldfish-like memory (esp for names) how would i remember the K.Berkheimer's explanation or what Peter Blau said.

Not like i wan to learn sociology, who cares what the sociologists say.

Please i wan Sigmund Freud!!! I think i won't be that sian with Sigmund Freud..




up till now it's still doesn't feel real that my granny is gone.

over heard what papa told ma, that aunts heard granny's footsteps on the seventh day at granny's house..




with the midterm and my granny on my tiny mind, i still dont understand why i can still dream of him

and why are the dreams making me even more moody,,



just happened to glance at the blog of someone who used to be very important.

it was old entries, but still i keep thinking of the "wrong" decisions i made.



i look like i lost my glow, someone told me today.

and like many has told me, i look tired.

the thing is i seems to have sufficient sleep, but there's no way i can get my glow back.

i dont like growing up.

Today will be the last day of my granny's wake.

but this doesn't mean that i have gotten used to the painful fact.

i don't wanna say bye.

it seems like it's endless pain...endless regret..

Like i could have done more than that for her.

can't stop thinking " i could have..." "why didn't i...."

when people are gone, then you start thinking about that..

it seems like regrets are inevitable...

friends, if you think you haven't done enough for your family, do it now..

i don't know if i will feel the same after a few months or even a few weeks...

but for now, i really think that there's more than that i can do for my family...not just immediate ones...

since young, no one have replace the top positions that my family is in, not in the past, not now, never in the future.

but it just seems like my character dont let me place my pride down...

i always hurt them with my words...with my stubbornness..

just hope that in the future i cant put my pride down, because now i know...no one can replace them. Nothing is the right barrier to stop me from loving them...the them that not just  include my immediate family..

friends, don't allow a possibility of regret when they are no longer there for you to love...

it had been a big twist of mood...

she left us on sunday.

i was just asking my sis on sat night when she would be discharged.

she just left us like that.

it's so unbelievable.

i was just talking to her last thursday.

she was so glad that we were there.

she was just asking about my studies.

though she look weak, there was obviously life in her.

she was totally unconscious on sun, making no response to me and others.

i miss her smile.

i miss her food.

i miss her concern.

i miss her waving at her corridors down to us.

i miss her.

the her who has no bad points i could recall of.

the her who was always so good to us.

the her who was the only grandparent i had.

他的幾句話就能讓我高興

和他的對望就能讓我緊張

他嘟一下嘴就能讓我着迷

就連他對我嘲笑的眼神都能讓我溫馨

不小心踫他的肩就讓我臉紅

是我太輕易被滿足嗎？

是我對他毫無抵抗力嗎？

他就像是我的強心針……